Infidelity: a memory of lost love

Infidelity is the most common crisis in marriage. These powerful dramas of betrayal, deceit, and broken hearts have successfully destroyed the lives of those around them especially the children. I could understand one night no strings attached affair but I could never comprehend and would never accept the idea of men living with two lives: loving the other and getting home to the wife for society appearances sake. Each of us has our own understanding of what an affair is all about especially extra-marital affair. Infidelity is something people enjoyed doing for the bitter context of fun and lust never minding the hurt, pain, sorrow, and depression it gives to the wife. And we might wonder why this continues to be controversial and highly discussed more each day in this country and throughout the world.

People are definitely aware of how pervasive and destructive infidelity social problems are to individuals and the people around them. Certainly the damage and the pain it cause are as devastating and far reaching with other social ills. Unfaithful husbands kill their wives by giving them unbearable stress that leads to ill health psychologically and physically. What ails the mind ails the body and wherein the problem of the parent becomes the problem of the child. It is a chain reaction of never ending hurt and pain. There are husbands who will take advantage of the wife’s frailty who even strangles wives when they quarrel. Why husbands could have the stomach to enjoy sex with other women and the stomach to physically and emotionally hurt their wives. Among the Filipinos infidelity continues to be an issue surrounded by walls of silence, embarrassment, and shame. People and family from generation to generation has been living with the martyrdom of the wives and accepting the masculinity justifications of a philandering husband.

I envy the West because women can very well file a divorce and seek for financial support with the full support of the government and other organizations. I remember a client of mine whose husband had already been living with another woman in Iceland and her financial support was getting smaller. She went to a Filipino lawyer for help and guess what the answer was: “Be contented with the support because it is better than nothing.” The reality is very striking because yes, it is a fact that husbands here can have many children in a wife, leave the wife, live with another woman, and not giving support to the first family. It is like a hit and run and I am really getting sick with the system. Husbands can leave and come to the families whenever they want. Older people and parents always are telling wives to contain the pain for the sake of the children but what about the wife?

There are a lot of wives out there who are laughing, socially mingling but inside is dying with hurt and pain. Infidelity what gives you the edge to break hearts and lives? It is never a feat for a man to show his philandering around. I see it as a feat to murdering a still breathing wife. This is the reality of infidelity. The “other woman” are getting stronger nowadays fighting for their man because husbands tend to give more of their income to the other woman than the family. And the wives left alone to fight for survival and look for other ways to bring food to the table. Guess you’ve seen husbands bringing bags and transferring their postal address to the “other woman” or maybe maintaining two postal addresses: one for the wife and for the “other woman”. My question: why can’t you be committed to give support to the lives you destroyed and left behind and seek happiness?

Wives will never dare run for you I guess if the obligation is still being carried while you are enjoying your lust or maybe newly found love. It is the desperation of the inability to provide basic necessities that wives fight for their husbands and not for the husbands anymore. Husbands could be cruel at times they leave without a trace and not even bothering if the abandoned family fared well. If only husbands could be fare then not so many wives could gotten ill with the stress of being left out. For all we know, wives could have lost that loving feeling long ago and just remained with the relationship because of the children and the reality of unmanageable unsuccessful support cases. Wives are not that martyr for heaven’s sake, it is the inability to survive economics with the children that’s holding them. Being a lone parent is not easy and for mothers to be separated with their children feels like dying too. I say it is easier to face reality, society, self and partners if the wife has a support system otherwise it would lead to ill health and depression.

America has been right on one thing: getting candidates views on infidelity. If he can’t be conscientious enough to be faithful to his wife then he can’t be conscientious enough to be faithful with anybody else least the country because the character is already there and the justifications of the act were solidly grounded on their moral issues. If candidates think that wrong is right then something is entirely wrong with their values and attitude. Great question indeed!

Reference: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/12/19/eveningnews/main3632462.shtml

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